


Pizza Night

by lindentree



Category: Friday Night Lights
Genre: Community: cliche_bingo, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-03
Updated: 2010-01-03
Packaged: 2017-10-05 17:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindentree/pseuds/lindentree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Taylors and Tim, and that most important of discussions: pizza toppings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pizza Night

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during "There Goes The Neighbourhood". This was written for [cliche_bingo](http://community.livejournal.com/cliche_bingo/), for the "food, cooking &amp; mealtimes" prompt on my card. This is kind of an experiment in dialogue and character voices, and is pretty unstructured. Feedback is appreciated.

"Okay, what do y'all want on your pizza?"

"I want peppers!"

"Aw, hell. It's pizza. Why do you wanna ruin it with vegetables?"

"Right, I forgot that pizza should be topped with nothing but sauce, cheese, and at least three different kinds of dead animal."

"Ew, honey."

"What? It's meat. It's dead animals."

"I know, but I wish you wouldn't say it like that. We'll just put peppers on ours."

"Mushrooms too?"

"Mushrooms too. Don't look at me like that – you don't have to eat any pizza with vegetables on it."

"Thanks, honey. On my half, can I have-"

"Pepperoni, Canadian bacon and Italian sausage?"

"See, that's why I love you."

"Tim, what do you want on your half?"

"I'll just have whatever, Mrs. Taylor."

"Now Tim, you don't need to be that way just to be polite. What do you like on your pizza?"

"Meat, mostly."

"I figured. We'll do that whole pizza with pepperoni, Canadian bacon and Italian sausage, then the two of you can just sleep outside on the ping-pong table tonight, because that's not gonna be pretty."

"Mom, did you just make a fart joke? Gross."

"In her day, your mother was the queen of fart jokes."

"_Honey._"

"I never woulda guessed, Mrs. Taylor."

"Oh, honestly. I'm just sayin', and y'all know it's true, too."

"Yeah, I've heard that Tim is pretty rank."

"You know, I'm a guidance counsellor, so I've pretty much got my ear to the ground over at that school, and I've heard the same thing."

"Now, now. Tim may or may not be smelly; I don't know and I don't care. But he's a guest and we should treat him with hospitality. Besides, if we're going to complain about anything, it needs to be said that you oughta take a shower every once in a while, son. That's what they put them in the locker room for."

"Ouch."

"Aw, I think you hurt his feelings, honey."

"It's okay, Mrs. Taylor. For pizza, I can take a few knocks."

"That's the spirit, son."

"That's kind of sick, actually. You shouldn't put up with this kind of psychological abuse just for pizza, Tim. It'll give you low self-esteem."

"Our daughter, the budding psychiatrist."

"Yeah, my first book will be about high school sports and mob mentality."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean, 'mob mentality'?"

"I guess you'll just have to read my book to find out. It could be very enlightening for you."

"There gonna be a chapter in there about coaches and their sarcastic, smart-mouthed teenage daughters?"

"No, but I think there'll be one about tyrannical coaches who carry their work over into their home lives."

"All right! Enough, y'all. I'm gonna go order the pizzas. Julie, you set the table. Tim, you get us some drinks. _No beer._"

"Yes ma'am. Jules, you want a Coke?"

"Mom, did you get some of those organic sodas I put on the list?"

"Your mother's on the phone, but no, I doubt it."

"Ugh, fine. Yes, I'll have a Coke."

"Okay, the pizzas have been ordered, the table has been set, drinks have been poured. Now all we have to do is pick a movie."

"A movie?"

"Yes, Tim. Tonight is family movie night. Unless, of course, you'd rather head on over into the den and do some reading or studying."

"No ma'am."

"All right, well, I think it's Dad's choice tonight."

"_Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid_!"

"Nice, Coach."

"Again? I'm sick of _Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid_."

"It's either that, or we go with your mother's choice and watch _Foul Play_."

"Ugh, fine!"

"Hey, why don't you two make yourselves useful and take out the garbage before the pizza comes?"

"Sure thing, Coach."

"I wonder if I could work a chapter on child labour into my book."

"You're a riot. Get outside and help Riggins."

"_Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid_ again, sweetie? Really?"

"What's wrong with _Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid_? It's a classic. Besides, don't act like you don't love my Robert Redford impression."

"Oh honey, you know I love your Robert Redford impression."

"'Don't you get sick of being right all the time?'"

"Very funny, hon. Very funny."


End file.
